These are NOT the 5 reasons I homeschool

It's really hard to put into words exactly why we homeschool. It's sort of like trying to explain why you parent how you do or what your philosophy of life is. There are a lot of factors involved: a patchwork of ideas and research, philosophies and life experiences. Most homeschoolers have varied reasons for homeschooling. Even when the reasons are the same, they have varied degrees of importance and play different roles.

I've found that many people who don't homeschool conjure up reasons why others do. Some are correct, some are incorrect, most are partially correct. Here is a list of assumptions that I've come across that are NOT my reasons-

1. Indoctrination Indoctrination is a strong word and a strong idea. Many people are concerned that I want to push all of my ideas onto my children, to fill up their little minds with crazy ideas so that they can become my clones. Let me assure you that nothing is further from the truth. Of course, I am hoping that many ideas rub off on them, like respect for everyone regardless of differences or a love of nature. Indoctrination into my ideas via lack of exposure to other ideas is exactly the opposite of my reasons, though. 

What I actually want is to expose my children to a variety of ideas and people and cultures. As they get older, I plan on volunteering with them at nursing homes (I just finished the volunteer paperwork for one! Yay!) and children's hospitals and homeless shelters and work with refugees. In the process of working with varied groups of people, they will, inevitably, come in contact with many more new ideas than they would sitting in a classroom full of kids in their exact same demographic. Imagine all the new things they could come in contact with, the life that they could live, in all of these settings!

2. Religion Religion (actually, following the teaching of Jesus Christ) is a big deal for our family, one that cannot be overstated. However, this is not the reason we homeschool. Sure, the bible is part of our learning. We unschool, so everything is part of our learning, even playing outside. To take the bible out of our classroom would mean to take it out of our lives, which wouldn't be true to who we are. 

But our decision to homeschool wasn't based on being Christians. Many, many Christians we know don't homeschool, even very strong Christians. If we were to send our kids to a public or private school, that could just as easily be strong Christians as adults. On the flip side, I've seen many Christian homeschooled kids not continue as Christians once they leave home. We do things to hopefully pass our faith on to our kids, but that isn't one of the reasons we homeschool. Because of the role faith plays in our personal lives, homeschooling probably doesn't hurt. It still isn't the reason we decided to homeschool.

3. Over protection Living in Colorado, this is probably a valid concern. Many people here wouldn't blame anyone for homeschooling to keep their kids out of a school shooting. I'm not originally from the Denver area, but I certainly remember Columbine. I was here for the Aurora Theater shooting and had a friend in the theater that night with her two young daughters. It was very frightening and heartbreaking. I remember that even the sports stations stopped reporting on sports that day. Tears are in my eyes just remembering it. It was a very similar experience to 9/11 for the people of this wonderful city.

We live in a crazy world. It's always been crazy, but we sure seem to see a lot more of it, thanks to mass media. But. BUT! I don't live my life in fear and I do NOT want to pass fear on to my kids. There is a much larger chance of dying in a car accident, but I still own three vehicles. It would be the worst day of my life if something life altering happened to my kids. But, lets face it, it could happen just as easily at the grocery store or park or car or restaurant or mall.

One caveat- I do believe that our children are much more loved by us than they would be by a teacher, principal or other adult authority figure. We have a vested interest in their well-being. That means that there is less of a chance for them to be abused, bullied or harmed in any way by me than there is by a myriad of adults that have no real attachment to them.

And yet, this is still not the reason that we homeschool. We choose to not live in fear.

4. Abuse There are stories out there of parents who abused their children and used homeschooling as a way to cover it up. They should have the book thrown at them. As far as I know, I haven't known any of those parents in my time being homeschooled or as a homeschooler. Furthermore, if it were brought to my attention that I did know anyone abusing their kids, I would immediately alert the authorities. However, these types don't go to homeschool co-ops or otherwise socialize with others for the same reasons that they pulled their kids out of school.

On the flip side, there are stories almost weekly of children harmed by those in positions of authority  at schools. Abuse of every kind happens in schools just as easily as it does in homeschools. School officials are not to blame. Predators who want to hurt children (or others) will find a way to weasel their way into schools or homes or nursing homes or... anywhere, really. In the same way that the vast majority teachers do not want to harm kids, the vast majority homeschoolers do not want to abuse their children.   

5. Control We unschool. That should be enough of an explanation to say that control is not what we're after. Our kids are in control of what they want to learn, when they want to learn it. (FYI, they're all above where they should be, according to state standards, for their ages.) We have no intentions of pushing them into anything. We haven't done it so far and have no intentions of starting. 

One of our biggest homeschooling goals to see where their talents and interests are and to help them grow in those areas. If I were to list reasons we homeschool, this would probably be first on the list. School, as it exists today, is not the best place to grow in what is important to you. 

Albert Einstein was only interested in doing math and playing violin in school and received very poor marks in all other subjects. When he decided to go to college in Switzerland and failed the entrance exam, he chose to study the subjects he didn't care for, then retook the exam and passed. Something very similar happened to my youngest brother. He was unschooled until 9th grade. He decided he wanted to go to public high school with his friends, but couldn't cut it in math. He studied by himself and was caught up to his peers within months. He went on to get a bachelor's degree in physics with a minor in math. 

Those kinds of stories are inspiring. I want our kids to know that they really can do whatever they want. I think that home is the best place for them to do that, unhindered by the rote memorization and subsequent memory dump of the regular 12 year school. Free to pursue their own interests, not having to learn what a committee deems important for their future success. And THAT, my friends, is why we homeschool our children! 

Homeschoolers, do you have anything to add to the list? Any disagreements? I'm sure there are many, so please don't throw tomatoes!

Not homeschoolers, do you have anything to ask? I've been around homeschooling for 30+ years and have seen a lot. I'll be open.

*Warning* I'm about to delve into one of the two subjects that are taboo for polite company.

In my introduction, I left out the most important part of my life. I am a Christian. By that, I mean a follower of the Jesus Christ. If you're wondering about the particulars of my personal beliefs, feel free to check out the faith statement of Calvary Chapel. That will give a good starting point.

I became a Christian at the tender age of 3. I know that some may not believe that a mere toddler can make such a commitment to a lifelong journey of faith. Yet, here I am, 31 years later, still following the same path. It was a very real decision to me then and it's all the more real now.

One big thing happened that shaped my faith in my Creator at a later date, when I was about 9, give or take a year. We were a fairly large family living on a fairly small income and life, although very happy for us, was a struggle. One night, the whole family was sitting at the dinner table: dad, mom, me, my younger sister and my two younger brothers. The only problem: we had no food. Not even beans tonight. We literally had nothing. We sat around the table, none the less, and dad prayed. I'm not exactly sure what his thoughts were, but his words went something like, "Thank you, heavenly Father, for the food you are about to provide." And that was it. Then, we all got up and went about our business. I don't remember being particularly scared or even hungry. 

How long we went about our business, I'm not exactly sure. It seemed like 2 minutes to me and probably many hours to my parents. But the time came, none the less, when God provided the food we were to eat, just like my dad said.

The phone rang and mom answered. It was her friend, Marie, who lived three doors down. She was expecting company and had made lasagna, salad and carrot cake. But the company had canceled and she had too much food for her and her husband. She asked if we'd already eaten and, if not, could she bring us dinner? A few minutes later, she came to our door, holding the still-hot meal. We all helped collect the meal from her, then sat down to eat. 

To be quite honest, it didn't seem so spectacular to me at that time. Dad had prayed that God would provide our meal and God did. End of story. I mean, if God is God, if Jesus fed 5,000 with a young boy's lunch, was it a big deal that He could feed us dinner? It wasn't until I was older that I realized that this was, indeed, special.

I suppose it could have been coincidence. To me, it seems like a stretch to believe in this kind of coincidence, but probably because I was one of the recipients of this miraculous meal. 

However, little things similar to this happen quite frequently when I'm walking in relationship with Jesus. For example, just yesterday, I was gathering laundry and thinking about the reading abilities of my oldest child. In a half-thought-half-prayer kind of way, I prayed that God would help me figure out how to help her advance in reading. I began thinking of books she could read to me (probably forced, though, which I don't care to do) and programs we could use (again, forced). As I walked into the living room (the whole prayer lasted maybe 10 steps, total), my oldest called out, "Mom, how do you spell 'where?' I'm trying to make a comic online." I sat down with her and spoke about the spelling of who, what, when, where and why, as well as long vowel sounds, blah blah blah. We were going to print it out, but I wanted to throw the laundry in the machine first. When I got back upstairs, her younger sister had moved to a different website, thereby deleting the one we'd worked on. So I printed out some blank comic pages and she drew and wrote words for several hours after.

From here, I could go into a lot of homeschooling stuff, but I'll save that for a different post. My topic here is that God guides me every day of my life. I understand the rational thoughts behind atheism and, because I'm a very concrete and rational person in my thinking, I would, most likely, be atheist if I hadn't walked with God and seen His handiwork first hand for most of my life.

And that's my journey. I would love to hear yours!

Bucky Mama. Yep, that's me. I won't tell you how I came up with that name yet. We don't know each other well enough and it's kind of weird. I prefer to keep my weirdness to myself for a little bit. Trust me, it'll spill through every nook and cranny of this blog soon enough. 

I've got four kids, three girls and one boy. Please, no comments about the "poor boy." He's a great kid and he loves his three older sisters. Yes, they're older. The kids are ages 6, 3, 3, and 1. Yes, that means I have twins. Again, no comments from the peanut gallery. 

By trade, I am a nurse. No, I don't want to look at your rash, thankyouverymuch. I'm a stay at home mom, so I'm not practicing nursing right now. Well, not in the traditional sense, anyways. I tell myself often that I'm a pediatric nurse with 4 patients. Sometimes that's in very literal sense. Most of the time, it's not. 

I homeschool my children (yes, all of them). Our homeschooling style is not what most people imagine when they think of homeschooling. No desks or worksheets are used, no math drills or any other type of drills. If you're familiar with homeschooling styles, we are somewhere near unschooling. If you're not familiar, our style can be summarized as lifestyle learning. We try to learn everything we can in every place we are. I am constantly thinking of new homeschooling terms like "museum schoolers" because we go to museum sooooo often or car schooling (although that term has been taken) because we learn and talk in the car a lot. In the end, our schooling is just what it is, not easily defined or termed, just like everyone's learning when outside of school.

Well, it looks like I've shown my weirdness already. So, I'll let you in on the name Bucky Mama. Back when I was working, our dear, sweet nanny coined the term "buckies" when speaking of the gluteus maximus. My three year olds are deep in the throws of toilet humor. If you say "buckies" at all, they crinkle their noses, squint their eyes, throw their heads back and erupt in eardrum shattering laughter. So, there it is. Bucky Mama. I think the kids will love it.